Baby remembrances

I wanted to share these things I have received that are in memory of our baby. My heart has been so touched by the people giving these to me at our time of grief. 

First is a handkerchief.  I received this from a fellow blogger named Debby I "met" through Wednesday Hodgepodge.  She read my story and asked if she could send me a handkerchief.  Such a nice ministry I thought and this was nice to receive in the mail. I liked also that the lettering was purple, my favorite color. :) 

Next is a memorial afghan.  This was from my online friend I've never met in real life but have known for many years now.  She sent me one for my first loss too and also made a big afghan for Caleb and my Meemaw.  She is such a sweet encouraging lady, and I'm thankful for her friendship and kindness.  Such a sweet little memorial blanket and so soft.

My aunt gave me this cross necklace.  It is called a Trinity Cross.  I have never seen one like this before.   It came with a little card describing what it means.  You can read a similar description on the website. This is special on so many levels for me.  I wore it on Mother's Day and liked hearing the three pieces bump together.

picture from website

Finally is the afghan my Mom made.  She started it right after we told her we were pregnant.  I saw a pattern online somewhere, and Caleb chose for this one to be light green.  Since she had it started, she finished it, and it goes in the memorial box at her house with the white one she made for our first baby (Caleb's baby afghan is yellow).   You can't really tell it is green in this picture she sent me.  She showed me she had it finished the last time we were at her house, and it brought tears to my eyes.

I will always cherish these things and remember our baby with them.

Have a day of blessings!

Thankful Thursday

This week has gone so fast.  The end of the school year is always such a busy time.  We've had a busy week and next week will be a busy one as well. I feel thankful that I feel like participating in these events and watching our boy.  I had thought previously how the two weeks following the miscarriage I didn't have anything I had to do or school events and that was good I think to help me heal and not feel like I was missing something.

This week I am giving thanks for....

~  my husband taking care of me and making me smile.  He does so much, and I am so blessed to be his wife. 

~ being able to attend the end of year school events with my boy, including his field trip last week and field day tomorrow.  Also I took treats to his class yesterday for his "pretend birthday" since his real birthday is in the summer.   

~ my Mom being safe in the storms earlier this week.

~ enjoying a spa pedicure on Tuesday!  My Mom gave me a gift certificate at Christmas.  It was my first one, and I enjoyed it so much. I told my husband it was fine with me if I find gift certificates in the future in my stocking!  haha

~  having vacation plans for the summer and getting a place rented for us to stay.

Have a day of blessings!

Wednesday Hodgepodge

1. It's National Bike Week...do you own a bicycle? When did you last ride a bike? I no longer have a bicycle.  I can't even remember the last time I rode one!  Probably when I still had the bike when we lived in West, TX.

2. What's something you learned in school that wasn't part of the curriculum?In 2nd grade I learned the value and importance of honesty and how that builds trust.

3. What's a food you've never tried, but want to try? What's a food you've tried and will never try again?  I have never tried asparagus and that is something I'd like to try.  I have tried beets and don't care to eat those again. 

4. Have you been more demanding on yourself lately or less? Why? Do you think that's a good trend?  As I feel like myself again following the miscarriage, I have wanted to do all my regular things since I feel like it now.  I realized the other day that the two weeks after the miscarriage I did just let myself sleep and rest as I needed to and didn't push myself to do everything I normally do and am glad that I could do that. I think it helped in my healing. 

5. Who is your favorite book, movie, or TV show villain? I have no idea! 

6. How concerned are you about identity theft? I am concerned about this.  I have had two instances recently in which charges were on our online bank statement that we did not authorize.  The first time it was right after I had purchased items online and found the charge to some online Lego shop or something similar that we did not buy.  Then the next time happened on Mother's Day (which is why I was digging in the trash last week).  My husband and I both knew the amount on the receipt was $8.60, and it showed up $13.60 online.  We found the receipt and did talk to the business.  They found out an employee was adding tips for himself, he did this for 5-6 others.  I wonder how many of the others noticed.  The business was  very nice about it and apologetic to my husband.  So these two things make me concerned for identity theft because it can happen without realizing it.

7. I saw this last question on Dawn's blog a couple of week's ago and asked if I could share. Everybody hop over and say hi, but first answer this...would you rather have an ordinary home in an extraordinary place or an extraordinary home in an ordinary place?  I have reasons I'd choose either of these....I'm in an ordinary home in an ordinary place and love both.  I suppose some days it'd be fun to live in an extraordinary home. 

8. Insert your own random thought here. I got a place booked for our summer vacation!  I wasn't in the mood to plan it after the miscarriage, but now I'm looking forward to it. 

Have a day of blessings!

Join me at Laced With Grace

Have you ever found yourself digging around in your kitchen trash can? Last week I noticed a discrepancy on our online bank statement. The amount I had written from our debit card in the checkbook was $5 less than what the statement showed. I thought I had thrown the receipt in the trash that morning so I decided to find it in case we needed it to get our money back. I thought the receipt was right on top but had to dig around a little bit. And it turned out I had ripped it up with a couple other receipts so it was in several pieces.

Join me over at Laced with Grace today for the rest of this devotional thought.

Have a day of blessings!

A month

Today it has been a month since we found out our sad news about the loss of our baby.  A day we had anticipated with such excitement because we would get to share our secret will now be remembered as a day of sadness.  It's been a hard month, but at the same time I can tell that my heart is healing.  It feels different this time around compared to the first loss.  I am not sure why really but have several ideas at the difference I feel this time.

It took about two weeks for me to get to where I felt like doing things again, and I have been through many "firsts" since the miscarriage as I have gotten back to my routine once I healed physically.  The first time going back to church. The first time going to the grocery store by myself.  The first time eating Tuesday lunch with my husband (this was particularly difficult and I sat in the parking lot and cried).  The first time going back to the school to volunteer.  It's been weird what things bother me and make me cry.

I miss so many things about being pregnant. I miss that fixing lunches for my husband and son no longer makes me gag.  I miss feeling my stomach growing rounder.  I miss doing the pictures with Caleb to show how big the baby would be each week. 

I wanted so badly to share the pictures with our family that we had taken to announce our news.  I wanted to hear that heart beat so much.  I wanted to be to 16 weeks on Friday when I went on the field trip with my boy's class.  I wanted to figure out how to fix the baby's room.  I wanted to feel those sweet baby kicks inside me and share that with my husband and son.

I don't understand and have so many "whys?" at this point.  However, I am praying for God to show me what I can learn through this experience.  There were specific things I learned through the first loss that I still think about today, and I pray to learn new things because of this loss. 

I'm thankful the healing is beginning in my heart and those who have supported me this past month.  I can feel that I am healing.

I read this quote (source unknown) when I was looking at poems about loss and miscarriage.  I liked it and wanted to share. 

Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap and tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap and tell them about me?

Have a day of blessings!

My new necklace!

I wanted to find something to wear after our miscarriage to remember our baby.  After our first loss 10 years ago my Mom got us tiny footprint pins.  They represent the size of a baby at 10 weeks, just the time of our first loss.  I wore mine for a long time and eventually stopped wearing it, I think I lost one and had a replacement and lost it when I put on my seat belt.  I had a bracelet made after Caleb was born with his name on it.  It also had a special green bead in memory of our first loss and had CALEB spelled with little blocks. 

 

I looked around on Etsy and found several necklaces I liked.  Now that I have one child here with me and two in heaven, I wanted something to represent all three.  We have a name for the first baby because of a dream I had before the miscarriage happened.  But this baby we have not named yet. I chose the hearts to represent those two babies. 

 

I just loved the heart necklace I saw at this shop called Polka Pear.  I messaged the owner and asked if she could do hearts or baby footprints.  She gave me the idea to do the hearts vertically on one side with Caleb on the other.  I loved how it turned out!  Here is a picture of it that I took from her Facebook page.  The heart is shiny silver and has two green stones (for August for our first baby's due date and Caleb's birthday) and one orange stone (for November for our third baby's due date) hanging in the middle. 

The owner of the shop, Sabrina, was very kind and helpful.  She answered all my questions, and I appreciated that I had my necklace within a week of ordering. 

She didn't ask me to do a post about this, I just wanted to because I like my necklace so much.  :)Also, I am hoping to have a giveaway in the coming days here!    

Go check out Polka Pear and look at her other stuff!  She told me she is working on some things for Father's Day, and I look forward to seeing them. 

Have a day of blessings!

Thankful Thursday

It's been another fast week.  They seem to go super fast as the end of May approaches with all of the school activities.

Today I am thankful for...
~ the way my husband is so caring and attentive to my needs.

~ hugs from my sweet boy at school.  I had volunteered and stopped by his lunch to see him and he asked if I could stay so I did.

~ several wonderful books I've read lately.  I have one audio book that I've not finished and a couple other library books I've read...The Chance by Karen Kingsbury and Out of My Mind by Sharon M. Draper.  Both are wonderful!  I'm doing a review on Out of My Mind in a couple of days because it is so good. 

~ the rains we have had and safety during the storms.

~ having a nice Mother's Day weekend and seeing family when we went to my cousin's graduation as well as safe travel too and from there. 

Have a day of blessings!